February 12th, 2010
I've been home now for five days. It's always interesting returning home after a long trip... seeing how the journey has transformed you, and what has stayed the same. I've returned with a renewed sense of gratitude. India awakening the subtle "being-ness" that we often miss because we are so busy "doing".
The last week of my trip I was traveling solo through Southern India, spending most of my time in Mamallapuram and Pondicherry. I took the train, caught buses, ate my meals , and sat on the beach - alone. I have never felt more alone. I was definitely missing my friends and family, but the alone-ness was more than missing someone or something. It was experiencing being with myself and only myself for the first time in a long time.
To be with yourself and enjoy your own company is a gift. This trip to India reminded me of that... to just enjoy being me, being Sarita and living in this skin. It also proved to me that I don't need much to be happy... a good night's sleep, good food (maybe the most important thing) and hopefully a beach :)
Every morning I rose before sunrise, found a comfortable place outdoors and enjoyed practicing yoga by myself. Sometimes my practice was a simple meditation, sometimes it was asana (the physical postures), meditation and pranayam (breathwork)... it was up to me to deeply listen to what I needed in the moment and then be disciplined enough to practice in that way.
So now I'm back to things that are familiar. I am sleeping in my bed, seeing a ballet tonight with a dear friend, and already in the swing of working again. And I know my task is to remain open to that sense of "being" that I found when I was alone in India. I am not alone here... I am often surrounded by my roommates and co-workers or on the phone with one of my friends that lives far away. In the midst of that it is up to me to find the time to be with myself, to continue to deeply listen for what I need, and to be grateful for all the gifts I've been given.